Road Trip

from I made you a CD, but I eated it. by Molly Lewis

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about

You may recall in 2007 there was an astronaut named Lisa Nowak who drove from Texas to Florida allegedly wearing adult diapers to avenge Air Force engineer and romantic rival Colleen Shipman, and fight for the love of fellow astronaut Bill Oefelein.

The original media coverage made a big deal about the diapers thing, and it was later reported that she was not actually WEARING the diapers but that they were present among the many other strange and worrisome things she brought with her.

In any case, I wrote the chorus back when they were still reporting that she was wearing the diapers, and I refuse to change it because it reflects a more blissfully naive time in my life when I still believed that accomplished adults could be caught wearing adult diapers in their little fits of crazy.

lyrics

VERSE
I thought he was my partner
Less than lovers, more than friends
He said it wouldn't last
But like the cosmos, it never ends

They say he's going steady
With some woman that I don't know
I've never met this person
But I think that I should go and say hello

I wish that he'd step back
And weigh his options for what they're worth
She may be smart and pretty
Oh, but our love has orbited the earth

PRECHORUS
I will not let her take my place
I'm in a new kind of space race

CHORUS
But I don't tell my parents
And I don't tell my friends
I just grab some rubber tubing
And I pull on my Depends
And then I drive
It's time for a road trip

I've printed out these letters
That he sent her, and all of that
I've written these directions
To her house, so we might have a little chat

I'll take this airsoft pistol
Should she makes threats against my life
A wig and pepper spray
And this eight inch Gerber folding knife

PRECHORUS
I will not let my man pursue her
Now she will get what's coming to her

CHORUS

BRIDGE
She's just a captain in the Air Force
She's never been in outer space
I guess I'll have to go remind her
That I'm a g**damn astronaut
And she should know her place

I pass through the state border
And I'm welcomed by a sign
I can feel my heart pounding
in my temples - and justice will be mine

She's nowhere in the airport
Then I recognize her car
I see no reason why I should be fearful
I've already come this far

PRECHORUS
I will not let her victimize me
At this point nothing can surprise me

CHORUS